Oh hi, it would seem that I have been gone a very long time. What happens though, is that I write these words in a Google doc during my lunch break at work, intending to post them to my blog when I get home, but then when I get home the idea of continuing to sit and look at a computer sounds so dreadful, and then whatever I wrote becomes outdated and pointless to post whenever I actually get around to it.
November, December, and thus far January have been very busy, with both the good (holiday celebrations! family vacation! enjoyable work projects! karaoke!) and the bad (family illness and subsequent hospital visits/worrying/sadness, personal illness (food poisoning), work stress/boredom, financial stress) plus of course horrible things that have happened and keep happening in the world that are are mind-boggling and sadness/paralysis-inducing. My mind lately seems to vacillate between overactive thinking, thinking, thinking and sludgy, lazy oatmeal brain.
In November, the day after Thanksgiving, my grandpa fell and broke his hip. He is 94 and the doctors weren’t sure if he would make it through the necessary surgery, but he did and he is recovering in a nursing home now. Unfortunately, his recovery is not going well and we’re not sure if he’ll get well enough to come home even with a live-in nurse. I’ve gotten to visit him pretty frequently, and he gets multiple visitors everyday, which of course makes the whole thing slightly less awful, but it is hard. It is hard to see him in pain, to see him not remember his visitors (he also has dementia), to see him struggle to eat (no appetite), and to see him get frustrated at his loss of mobility. It is hard to see the affects on my grandma and my mom.
In my memory of him, my grandpa has always been an old man. He went from slow walking, to slower walking, to not walking. Also, in my earlier memories of him, when he was more vital, I was a little kid. So though he had great health for his age, he still seemed so old to me in my little-kid understanding. I am very close to him, and this change has been painful, but it has not been such a huge adjustment, as it has been for my mom. I try to imagine what it must be like. One day I will probably go through the same thing - I will probably see my parents, my partner, myself, go from our most vital, able, mentally clear and present states, to slowly but surely diminishing states of physical, and possibly mental, abilities.
On to a less serious/sad/important topic...tonight I am getting a haircut! I am dreaming of this haircut because my hair is growing down onto my neck and it is the worst. I’m sure all you short-hair-wearers know what I’m talking about. This haircut was actually scheduled for last week, but too many students called in sick after New Year’s Eve. This is my first non-great experience with the hair school, so I still fully recommend cheap haircuts at the Aveda school on Clark.
I feel like I am a fancy lady who gets beauty treatments done a lot, because in addition to tonight’s haircut, last night I got a massage. I had never had a professional massage before and for Christmas I received one of those daily deal site coupons to get a massage. It was amazing. I was touching the tops of my shoulders afterwards and I couldn’t believe there were areas that felt so soft - my shoulders usually feel like a hard, wooden mass. It was super relaxing and I was definitely in awe of the skill-level of the massage therapist. Obviously I knew that massage takes skill, but I hadn’t really considered the amount of knowledge a good therapist has until I had one rearranging my limbs and pressing on different body parts in ways that seemed to make no sense but that made me feel so good.
Great job to all skilled massage therapists. I’m sure your own bodies are sore from the nature of your work and sometimes people are mean to you and maybe sometimes you have clients with really bad body odor or something. But, you deal with it and you’re great.
November, December, and thus far January have been very busy, with both the good (holiday celebrations! family vacation! enjoyable work projects! karaoke!) and the bad (family illness and subsequent hospital visits/worrying/sadness, personal illness (food poisoning), work stress/boredom, financial stress) plus of course horrible things that have happened and keep happening in the world that are are mind-boggling and sadness/paralysis-inducing. My mind lately seems to vacillate between overactive thinking, thinking, thinking and sludgy, lazy oatmeal brain.
In November, the day after Thanksgiving, my grandpa fell and broke his hip. He is 94 and the doctors weren’t sure if he would make it through the necessary surgery, but he did and he is recovering in a nursing home now. Unfortunately, his recovery is not going well and we’re not sure if he’ll get well enough to come home even with a live-in nurse. I’ve gotten to visit him pretty frequently, and he gets multiple visitors everyday, which of course makes the whole thing slightly less awful, but it is hard. It is hard to see him in pain, to see him not remember his visitors (he also has dementia), to see him struggle to eat (no appetite), and to see him get frustrated at his loss of mobility. It is hard to see the affects on my grandma and my mom.
In my memory of him, my grandpa has always been an old man. He went from slow walking, to slower walking, to not walking. Also, in my earlier memories of him, when he was more vital, I was a little kid. So though he had great health for his age, he still seemed so old to me in my little-kid understanding. I am very close to him, and this change has been painful, but it has not been such a huge adjustment, as it has been for my mom. I try to imagine what it must be like. One day I will probably go through the same thing - I will probably see my parents, my partner, myself, go from our most vital, able, mentally clear and present states, to slowly but surely diminishing states of physical, and possibly mental, abilities.
On to a less serious/sad/important topic...tonight I am getting a haircut! I am dreaming of this haircut because my hair is growing down onto my neck and it is the worst. I’m sure all you short-hair-wearers know what I’m talking about. This haircut was actually scheduled for last week, but too many students called in sick after New Year’s Eve. This is my first non-great experience with the hair school, so I still fully recommend cheap haircuts at the Aveda school on Clark.
I feel like I am a fancy lady who gets beauty treatments done a lot, because in addition to tonight’s haircut, last night I got a massage. I had never had a professional massage before and for Christmas I received one of those daily deal site coupons to get a massage. It was amazing. I was touching the tops of my shoulders afterwards and I couldn’t believe there were areas that felt so soft - my shoulders usually feel like a hard, wooden mass. It was super relaxing and I was definitely in awe of the skill-level of the massage therapist. Obviously I knew that massage takes skill, but I hadn’t really considered the amount of knowledge a good therapist has until I had one rearranging my limbs and pressing on different body parts in ways that seemed to make no sense but that made me feel so good.
Great job to all skilled massage therapists. I’m sure your own bodies are sore from the nature of your work and sometimes people are mean to you and maybe sometimes you have clients with really bad body odor or something. But, you deal with it and you’re great.
