I feel like so many of the things I want to write about are negative. This makes me worry somewhat that I am overly negative in my communication, but at the same time, I think that is a natural tendency for a lot of people. And, things have been getting me down lately, not to mention that the world is just so full of shitty things. So please allow me a moment to just say that work is stressing me out, I feel like I might be getting sick, I’m always tired, my apartment is currently in crazy disarray, my to-do list is too long, the world is generally sad, and I long to curl in a ball and speak to no one for a long time. Or better yet, have access to the Hyperbolic Time Chamber from Dragon Ball Z (I have some knowledge of this show after living with several people who watched it), so I could rest and then at least get my personal life in order.
Of course these problems pale in comparison to how monumentally awful life is for so many people and the systemic problems that exist in so many areas and at least my life isn’t regularly under threat and I have access to food and education and clean water and I have fairly reliable social support when things go awry. These thoughts are meant to put my own problems in perspective, and sometimes they do, but when I am already teetering on the edge of a bad place, they can make me feel so heartbroken about the world and unsatisfied with my efforts to fix problems. Or sometimes I just feel guilty for thinking at least I don’t live in an oppressive, theocratic society or a country where lack of clean drinking water is an ongoing problem - at least I don't have to face serious problems that many, many people live with on a regular basis. What a privileged, bitch-face, white, first world-guilt stereotype. And the fact that I have the time and ability to type all this out further speaks to how I should just SHUT MY MOUTH.
I’m going to stop before I chase my tail further around into a crazy spiral of guilt, truisms, and not one original thought or statement regarding privilege and society and the whole blah-de-blah.
On the positive side of things, I love people in the world and I am loved back. I live with a very nice man and our personalities click in so many important ways. I live with a very nice cat who has a round face and likes to cuddle just the right amount. I have access to library books and black leggings and scarves and beer and public transit and lots of other life-enhancing things.
Well, who wants to end a blog post like that? No one. So here’s a link to some Babysitter’s Club fanfic, discovered via the often enjoyable thehairpin.com.
Of course these problems pale in comparison to how monumentally awful life is for so many people and the systemic problems that exist in so many areas and at least my life isn’t regularly under threat and I have access to food and education and clean water and I have fairly reliable social support when things go awry. These thoughts are meant to put my own problems in perspective, and sometimes they do, but when I am already teetering on the edge of a bad place, they can make me feel so heartbroken about the world and unsatisfied with my efforts to fix problems. Or sometimes I just feel guilty for thinking at least I don’t live in an oppressive, theocratic society or a country where lack of clean drinking water is an ongoing problem - at least I don't have to face serious problems that many, many people live with on a regular basis. What a privileged, bitch-face, white, first world-guilt stereotype. And the fact that I have the time and ability to type all this out further speaks to how I should just SHUT MY MOUTH.
I’m going to stop before I chase my tail further around into a crazy spiral of guilt, truisms, and not one original thought or statement regarding privilege and society and the whole blah-de-blah.
On the positive side of things, I love people in the world and I am loved back. I live with a very nice man and our personalities click in so many important ways. I live with a very nice cat who has a round face and likes to cuddle just the right amount. I have access to library books and black leggings and scarves and beer and public transit and lots of other life-enhancing things.
Well, who wants to end a blog post like that? No one. So here’s a link to some Babysitter’s Club fanfic, discovered via the often enjoyable thehairpin.com.
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